you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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