By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
