Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You can't just leave with hair like that
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
