It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
