Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Damn victory sex feels great
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