You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Two words: blizzard sex
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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