drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if i can run in heels then i can drive
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
