You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize