I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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