My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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