Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
