I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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