You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
