at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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