we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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