There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't deserve a penis
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
