Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
did i just pee glitter
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
