who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
