I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
