Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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