she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
