Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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