I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize