the room spins SO much faster in panama
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
