Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
