I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
