Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i've created a new STD.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
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