I think I am morally bankrupt
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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