ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
