Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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