I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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