to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Randomize
