so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize