Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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