you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
