i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Can I color on your dick again?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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