I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize