Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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