Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize