Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize