I cockslap morals
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
