Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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