I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I AM VODKA MAN
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize