I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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