I want you more than these girls want KFC
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
