I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
