You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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