I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
This is my gift to your gina
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
we're so committed to being not committed
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
