Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
