Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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