Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
