is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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