The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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