fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
