your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
