I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
