You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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