You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I party with great urgency now.
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