Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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